i swear this shall be the first and last post that i am expressing all my unhappiness in this blog. it is really hard holding them in all along.

i have always thought that someone would understand me as who i am. i was wrong.
i thought that there was this certain person who will, but i was wrong.
i always thought that i might apppear strong but maybe deep down i am weak. i was half right and wrong.
i always thought that i could hate everyone easily. but i was wrong. i thought i could be nice. i was wrong.

it's beginning to be hard to live in this kind of world, so hard just to find someone who will understand you and not always think the other way from you.
having someone i loved so much leaving my side really hurts me so, and still i had something wrong with my body. everything feels so weak now, and i just hope that i could be strong. just to survive through this year.

if that someone happens to read this blog and thinks that it is referring to you, why not ask me. you might be the one that i need to talk to. or maybe lean on.

i am nothing but tired now. everything feels so unreal. ):

this is really what i wanna express now:
我只想再哭一下下
把记忆彻底地分化
等哭完我就会回家
眼泪我会替自己擦
我只想默哀一下下
假如你不反对的话
以后我不会再牵挂
可知我有多努力啊
只有这办法
才不再想他