disclaimer: the post that you are going to read from here on is full of ranting. most of them are typed according to current frustrations and might not really represent what the writer feels about the whole issue. whatever it is, please do not anyhow think it's referring to you. it MIGHT not be. so, if you are ready, you can read on. if not, just close this site. thank you very much.

so.... I am super frustrated at how i'm being denied of what i want, when i feel that i can indeed perform it. WHAT THE SHIT.
it's so freaking unfair, but whatever, it's not my loss anyway.

oh wait, somehow it does link to some losses on my side. urgh. i'm already vexed enough in life and this has to come and add on to it. how am i supposed to feel more committed when i'm not getting what i envisoned to?
they just don't get it. not everyone stays. in order to make people stay, you have to somehow MAKE THEM FEEL THAT THEY WANNA STAY. it does not have to be monetary benefits or whatsnot. sometimes it is just... some sort of feelings that make people stay. i do have a bit of that, but all these frustrations are making the feeling gone bit by bit. URGH.

whatever the situation is, i do hope it improves soon.
i mean, ultimately you cannot be doing that to me for a long period of time.