Instead of doing work, I came here.

It's been some time since I last posted anything, but I guess work and all has caught up on me. oh yeah, and that includes drama watching too. managed to clear both Master's Sun and The Heirs within say, a month? HAHA that's like watching 1-2 episodes per day on the average, sometimes even more. So instead of choinging the new one, I decide to revisit The Moon That Embraced The Sun since I wanted to wait till You Who Came From The Stars to finish before I start. okay but that's not the whole point of this entry.

recently, I felt that I have lost touch with this friend. I don't know how it started, and neither do I know what happened. All I knew was right after I asked for a little favour to help me bring something, I was faced with a tweet talking about me. It didn't state that it was me, but given my instincts which are more than often accurate, it was about me.

and that friend... let's just say she's not a very good at lying. whenever she is upset with someone, she would tweet about it, then ignore that person or says otherwise when the person involved asked if she was alright. she would find it fake perhaps? for that person to show any form of concern, for she has already settled down with some form of prejudice towards that person.

i always thought our friendship was stronger. but seems that I am wrong. terribly wrong. I've always told a lot of friends (or at least people who I care for) that if they are unhappy with me, I would rather them telling it to my face than to tell others and pretend that everything is fine in front of me. I used to find that really... hurting for a friendship for there's no simple trust and pretence gets into the picture. well you know, such things turned ugly can get really really ugly. so being a really good friend of mine (I did believe that we were close) I really thought she would let me know if I really did something bad enough for her to feel any form of upset. but nope. all I knew was the next moment, we weren't friends anymore.

I'm sad to see how things have turned out to be like this. to lose a friend out of nowhere, sucks. and it sucks even more when you put in your real heart into the relationship, only to find yourself bruised, because the other party thinks that hurting you is better than any chances of hurting themselves. but what sucks the most, is to find that that friend is just, the person she has always been complaining about, and that more often than not, we are all the person we don't want to be.

so I thank you my (maybe I should say: ex) friend. thank you for showing me how ugly friendships can get. thank you for showing me how brittle friendships can be. thank you, for turning the entire world against me, just cos you are part of their clique longer than I was.
I used to think everything will be fine after some time. I used to think maybe by writing you a letter or confronting you might change our situation. but right now, I think maybe it is time for me to let go, since you have long decided to let go.

thank you for showing me, the exact reasons why I could never trust certain people. because you never did anyway.
that's why we are both insecure in this friendship.

so, goodbye my friend.
may fate bring us together again, and hopefully when we meet again, we can be back to where we were.